A sneak peek of a Diva’s life

Ok, so here I am, gonna write bout Gay, Lesbian and Transgender after i watch a movie about it. To be honest, tis blog mean something to me since I’ve been longing to write bout tis for a very long time. But tis time, I really gonna write it.

You kno, it’s not easy for being different. Some people say tat they (gay, lesbian and transgender) are not normal. No, they are not abnormal. Some people say they are not normal because in tis world all of you think tat a MAN suppost to pair up wit WOMAN. Why? You say, "Because it’s the way it’s suppost to be".

So by them being something different from wot u say "suppost to be", then tat’s mean they are abnormal? Wtf is tat? They are not abnormal, they just have a different point of view from u.

I never understand how people can be so shallow. I’m Christian, my religion forbidden love between the same gender or change gender. You kno, I’m a faithful Christian, but I just cant lie to myself, I accept gay, lesbian and transgender (I don’t want to say "shemale" from now on since it’s a harsh word).

I watch tis movie, called "Better Than Chocolate" and, god, how it’s open my mind even wider. Like I’ve said before, it’s never easy when people judge u abnormal just because u love sum1 wit the same gender or by being a woman who is "trapped" in a man’s body.

Gay, lesbian and transgender, they must faced the rejection from the society. Some of them might being hate by their own families, or their parents. You kno how hurt it is when even ur parents won’t accpet u for who u are? It’s hurts to be unwanted. It’s hurts when people judge u abnormal and avoid u because u are "u". You kno wot hurts more? It’s when u must discreet who u really are and pretend tat u are "normal" in society because you want to be accepted. And deep inside you start to hate urself by being "abnormal". Tat’s more hurt.

I kno how it feels. I know people who are homophobia (or u can say "homo haters"), more I kno people who hate transgender. I mean, do you kno them so much tat u hate them so much? Wot did they do wrong to you?!

It’s hurts so much when I kno there are transgender being molest verbally when they went to ladies toilet. FFS where should they go? They are woman trapped in man’s body, so where should the go?! I cry when i write tis blog. I cry cuz I imagine wot tey faced in their daily life. I cant imagine wot if I, myself, living tat life, being judge and faced the rejection of society every single day. Well, can you..?

You kno, I can always kiss or hold my boyfriend’s hand whenever I want to without worrying people talk bout me behind my back with a face full of disgust or appointed me with their finger. Wot about them, especially transgender? Can u imagine wot they feel, day after day? They can’t show their affection to their lover in public. All you can see is just love burning in their eyes. And tat’s giving you enuff reason to start pointing ur finger at them, whispering to ur friends about it with a face full of disgust.

Please don’t tell me you never do tat. I kno I do, and i regret it.

You kno, I have gay friends, lesbians.. And i still can’t find a reason why society hate them so much. They look normal to me, of course they are because THEY ARE NORMAL.

If you are a homophobia or transgender hater, please… Please let me suggest u one movie. You won’t regret it, I promise you.. Please just watch it and let it open ur heart, just like it open mine.. Go to tis link:
http://www.peekvid.com/s3516/

It would mean so much to me..

You kno, i think it’s just wrong if you hate sum1 because he/she love sum1 with the same gender. However, no matter wot gender it is, it’s love.. And there is nothing wrong wit love because, well, because it’s love.. And it need no reason for love to.., love.. Oh i kno it’s sound complicated but at least u kno wot i mean..

If u have myspace, u can also join a profile where they support the gay marriage. And u kno wot, I’m a proud member of the profile:
www.myspace.com/isupport

So guys,
please watch the movie ok? At least tat’s the furthest I can do to show u wot I mean.. =)

So much love,
-g0g0-

NB: You got my permission to copy tis images and put it in your profile. In fact, I hope you do it hehe!

I’m freaking tired! And oh well, zouk out is not as fun as last year *damnit* but, yea, we having fun there! Won’t said so much bout it since I don’t feel like it, but, oh well, enjoy the pictures!

Last nite we got g0g0, Arfadh, jolene, cecil, vern, ellyn, and jospehine. Don’t count Saro since she join us after the party (huh, kamu nakal!)

My girls, not really success in hunting since there nothing much to hunt. But one girl really success in her hunt lol! Gud job, whoever you are (see, I don’t mention ur name to protect u. Say thank’s now! lol)

The other girl, hunt tis "white cloths guy" who suddenly missing in action lol! And she’s keep looking for him after the party’s over. Oh well, dear.. Maybe wot Arfadh said is true, maybe he’s leaving with a sexie girl in bikini, who knows lol!

The party is awesome! I see people fight, stupid perv angmoh trying to hug a Thailand girl. Thank’s God, her (very big fat) friend come to save her day lol! I see sexy girls in bikini, people kissing (i really see their tounge licking each other, euuuw! You cant do tat in public. Hellooooo, I’m not drunk, i see taaat!)

Ahh, just take a look at the pictures!

Say hello to the girls! Cecil, Ellyn, Josephine, Jolene, Gogo and Michiko

Ahaha, one of my fav pict!

While somebody doing her monkey business, the rest are taking cute picture!

Joleneeeeee, ur head is blocking mine! Notty!

Stay pretty hor, ladies..

be jealous, be very jealous..

How nice is tis? =)

Ok! Intermezo dedicated to VERN.
Vernnnnnn, kenapa kaw tegaa… Poto aku sama bassist Futon kaga ada yg bagus.. Teganya dirimuuuu Hiks hikss… Notty!!

Ok, now I kno how it feels to go crazee when u see sum1 cool in the stage. Tis is the girl I want if i’m a man. Total hot! So sexiiieeee! (vern, I’m still upset yaa, awas kalo ketemu! Gigiiiiiiiittttt!!)
At least Vern did a great job with the last picture. I take a picture with Futon bassis, how cool is tat? Arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh!!!!!

My face is so butta tat i need to cover it lol! Just want to show u guys the girl tat i adore. Isn’t she’s hot? Her name is Oh from Thailand. Their band are rocks!

Vern with Oh. We both oh, so love Oh! lol!

However got no enuff disk space (tat’s wot it says) to put more picts. Hehe! Hope u guys like it! Mwah!

NB: Please check out
www.xfuton.com

and check Oh’s cutie face. It’s a must!!

x0×0
-gogo

Wot’s wrong wit tis "Friendster Profile Update" anyway………??? Don’t they kno I spen hours to design my profile? It’s crazee! I want my old profile back, now my profile become plain jane, hate tat!

I feel like i lost touch wit my mojo today.. Where’s my mojo??! Is it because I had a fever and sore throat..? U kno, sumtimes when u are ill and u’re out of mood, u might lost touch with ur mojo, well, i assume it of course! lol! However, writting a blog will always help to make me better! It’s like talking to a friend, only tis one is virtual hehe!

Ok, wot happen lately…?
Well yesterday is my last exam *TOTAL RELIEVE* and tommorow is Zout Out at the beach *TOTAL PLEASURE*

I went to Little India last night. I always love tat place! It’s colourful and look authentic. I’m so in to cultural thing, so Little India and China Town will always have a place in my heart. But I’m more in to Little India.. Lol, watever.

I buy tis very very very very very green and sparkling bracelet for only $2.50. It’s 12 green sparkling bracelet, sooo chippo and pretty! However, wont show it now but I promise tommorow I’ll show you wit all my apparels. I am sooo green! I got an orange redish bikini from Mambo and green tube dress from my bf and i’ll wear a flower in my head just like last year! 

At the shuttle bus (Daniel, Gogo, Sasri, Renzy, DJ Aya dan Mike)

Di pintu masuk Zout Out, lagi nelp.

Tadaaaahhhh, my pretty lil lady Michiko and me!

Tis is all the pictures from Zouk Out last year, and yes, it’s as fun as it seems. There, my flower! Do you like it? It’s actually a lil bit greenish but it looks white because of the light from the camera. Tis outfit and flower lead me to the LIME magazine. And guess who the 1st person who found my picture at the magazine, it’s ARFADH! When we still friend of course..

Last year is amazing (don’t mention when the party is over and my cloths are wet because of rain and my bones are hurt because of 12 hours dancing and more than 12 hours without food and went back by mrt, eating instant noodle at 7-eleven) and I expect it to be the same tis year. Sooo, it’s gonna be a blast! I might bring my camera to show u guys the fun so, we’ll see.. =)

Couple of days ago Arfadh telling me tat Michiko ask him to tell me tat me and her are in the Zout Out commercial tis year, which is cool and I found it like ,"Oh my God, are you kidding me?!". She said, we are in the V channel Zouk Out commercial (V-channel, how cool is tat) but strangely I think I also see myself at the commercial at the bus lol.

I sms my Dad yesterday telling him tat her daugher are in commercial again but tis time is on TV and he said his happy. Now I found my Papa’s secret, he want a celebrity daughter, huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *cry cry because I’m no Dakota Fanning* Well, at least his happy enough eventough his daughter face is in TV only for couple of secs.

Let me tell u my dirty little secret *whisper*

I wish I’m in magazine agan tis year…

LOL! Tis is embarassing but I think it’s just fun when u look at the magazine and suddenly it’s like "Woah, is tat me?!" It’s soo funny! I remember when my campus stationary’s cashier aunty suddenly call me, "Meinii… come.. come… See, your picture here.." *handed me Chinese magazine* And I look at myself, in the Chinese magazine. The advertising for my campus and I don’t understand even a word inside the magazine, it’s in Chinese! But however I found it pretty cool and I’m secretly happy.. Hihihi!

You kno, all of tis things make me think, how come in Medan I can’t do thing like tis but in Singapore things seems so easy.. Tell u honestly, I never see myself in a magazine before back in Medan, I swear! I only enter the flyer at my school advertising, with my head facing backwards so nobody know it’s me. They took it when I’m in catwalk for a brand call "Body and Soul", if i’m not mistaken. So I guess, Singapore is a land of opportunity lol!

Tat’s in for now, might update it later at night. For you who are in Singapore:

BUY UR TICKET TO ZOUK OUT AT NEW URBAN MALE TODAY FOR $38! OR U CAN BUY IT FOR $48 TOMMOROW AT SENTOSA.

It’s an annual thing so u cant miss it!

Love love
-g0g0-

PS: I think i found my mojo tho it’s not complete LOL

Today
i tortured myself again..

It feels so physical
but unbelivably such a mental escape

It’s so strange,
are things really connected to one another?
It’s so amusing…
yet, tiringing…

Do you want to run away wit me?
Forget it, you cant come along…

Seriously… I clean my toilet when i actually not intend to do it..
So since yesterday I’ve plan to do the loundry rite? And i never mix all my cloths in the machine. I afraid it will spoiled my apparels. I divide it into 3 part.
1. All cloths tat have no prob in mix
2. Jeans
3. Appearels tat i should wash wit hand (silk, white cloths, undergarment)

My washing machine is so close to kitchen and toilet.. So when I’m washing my white shirt in kitchen, i smell sumthing tat lil bit irritating.. So i thought tat it’s my kitchen washtafel. After i done with my shirt, i start cleaning the hell out of my kitchen! I use a tooth brush tat i thought belong to my friend tat is not useable but the it turn out to be MY ROOMATE’s!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, soooorrryyyyy!!

To be honest, cleaning the kitchen is no prob wit me but when i clean the toilet, i feel a total disgust. Seriously, my toilet having a prob wit strange dot all over the certain area and it’s irriatting and i assume tat it  make the toilet smell strange. It’s horrible to wake up and take a shower in a dirty toilet (I’m hygine freak when we talking bout the cleaness on a room especially TOILET). So no matter how disgust i am, i start to  squat and brush the hell out of the toilet’s floor and wall.. It is killing me. I dunt even dare to breath with my nose.. I inhale and exhale from my mouth. I feel so dizzy cuz i dunt breath properly and fighting the disgust feeling in me. However THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS my toilet is not as horrible as before. Maybe it’s not even horrible anymore.. It’s clean, a lil bit i think..

When i was younger, i always find it irritating how my mother never satisfy with the cleaness in my house. She will keep cleaning and brushing here and there and complains tat things is not put in the right place and it’s driving me insane. But now i tat i grow older, I just realised tat i become exactly like her. And my sister too. Guess the hygennic-obssesed is in the gen. Well done, the hygine freak family lol. You kno, it’s always my dream to have a really clean toilet, and evry couple days, I’ll light and aroma therapy wit lavender scent to keep my toilet in grace.. I love when things happen to be in a perfect grace. Well, i have no prob wit my toilet now, and i still want to light and aroma therapy in it but i realised tat there are more important  things to buy rather tat fulfilling my not-so-important dream. Arrgh, i’m just getting too greedy! Bad girl!

Another thing i want to do is also to write my wish-list in my blog. You kno, it’s kinda fun to write ur dream and u can read it over and over again. Nah, the reason i’m writting my wish-list is not because i want you to fulfil it. I want to fulfil my dream by myself so i have reason to be proud of meself.

However, "clean tis toilet" things is absobing all of my strengh and i’m bit tired cause i brush all the dots like crazee lol!

Might write my wish-list soon since i got nothing to do to kill the time so get prepared to say, "Wat the heck? She write agen?! Ta’s it i’ll delete her in my friend list! Tis girl is one annoying thing!"

Love love,
-g0g0-

He is sooo adoreable!!
And his hair is soo perfect!
He’s soo cool!
And he have a great ride!

He is….
my one and only super hero…………..

!!!!!!!SUPER TAI!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear to God tis is not my alter ego..! Tis is made by my good pal and when i see the pict, i lauff my ass off! Tis is soo funny and i think most of u will like it!

And btw he might post some words or drawing in my blog (yeaaayyy) so please say "Hi" to my great pal "SUPER TAI" ok? And be friendly to him! lol!

Love love
-g0g0-

Thank u for all the worries.. Make me feel loved mwahahaha.. Yes i’m having a terrible night yesterday and in the morning but i’m at my best now, I’m happy..

Some peeps thought tat i refer to them when i write my blog, yea, the upset one. So to all of u who fell tat way, go and get a break ok? Cuz it’s not u.. And stop worrying cuz I dunt hate anyone.. I love everybody <3 <3

More for u to kno tat 2 days ago I’m having my PMS.. If u kno wot I mean ckckck… It’s driving me crazee and my mood is goin up side down.. It’s crazy… But i’m ok now.. =D

So much story to tell about yesterday but i’m just too lazy to write.. Hehehe! However wot happen yesterday is hell and today after my exam, me (and Arfadh of course) will treat myself a good food and a good movie. Hell I deserve it! I’ve suffered too much (i lie hihihi).

So much love from here.. Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!

-gogS-

**Updated**
Hi y’all! I just went back from a movie and caught a sore throat lol!
Just want to tell y’all tat i’m having a gud time cuz it’s been ages since i went to movie.
I cant wait for tommorow to wash all my loundry. Darm it’s abundant of it lol! Should really wash it ASAP. Not tat i’m lazy to wash it ok.. It’s just i’m too busy lately and I’m not living alone so i should share my loundry time wit my hommie.

Howweeeeeeeeeeeeeverrrrr,
thank u for keep reading my blog! I enjoy writting it very much, at least i kno some of u read it when u got nothin to do lol!
Ah ya, my camera is back (Thank u CECILIA, smoochies for YOU!). However the picts i took is not so cool so I’ll post sum picts next time ok?

Kiss kiss,
-g0g0-

Why everything seems to make me upset? Something happen to make me upset like sooooo long.. And something are happen to be today!

I’m so sorry tat today my posting will be all taboo words.. But f*ck it, tis is my blog anyway.. And if u judge me by the way I talk, then u are simply retards by judging a book by its cover..

I hate evrythingggggggggggggggggggggg!!! I hate zouk out! F*ck zouk out!!!
And i hate my house!!!!!!!!! F*cking retard house!! I dont even feel like it’s my house! It’s not my house!!! I don’t feel like it’s my house cuz i dunt feel like it’s mine!!!!!!!! And i should’t feel like tat because it’s my house!!!!!! I pay tat house!!! I suppost to feel comfortable inside!! It should be!!! Cuz it’s my house! It’s my motherf*cking house, goddamnit!!
And worse of all, nobody understand how I feel! How can I talk to somebody when everybody seems to have problem to keep a secret?! How can i even talk?! When i just open my mouth and they start to blame me for sumthing i dunt do.

Where do i belong?! Now tell me!!!! I dunt even have a place to scream my heart out!I have nothing!

Don’t tell me tat you are my friend.. Oh pleaseeeeeeeeee shut up before u gross me out!!! How can sumbody act like tat huh??!! Somebody like u are BIG TIME OSCAR WINNER! Seriously.. Go and get ur life away from me.. Trashbag.

Ohh God, i’m seriously upset… I am soooooooo pissed… Tat’s it b4 i say another rude words.. Tat’s it..

Today is Sunday! I hate Sunday. Selalu ga tau mau ngapain everytime Suday’s around. So i stuck in my bed, baca2 blog friend list qw (I always do tat and really enjoying it!). Baca yang lg berantem ma pacarnya la, ato lg hepi, ato bosen ato masalah ma sekolah, apa aja.. Rasanya kaya baca novel gratis and it’s kinda fun to kno tat the main character of the "novel" is sum1 u kno!

Barusan tadi aku baca blog temenku yang ceritanya ga tau cara ungkapin perasaan dan akhirnya dia rela aja jadi temen, sembunyiin perasaan. Oooh i miss tat feeling! Aneh ya, but sumtimes I enjoy the feeling of pain. Perasaan tepuk sebelah tangan, perasaan diam2 mencintai (the last time aku diam2 mencintai itu adalah pada pacarku sekarang, ARFADH). Never thought that one day he will be mine! Seriously! But here I am, jadian dengan cowo yang qw diem2 taksir dan gada yang tau kecuali my closest friend dan oknum2 yang aku paksa denger aku curhat haha!

How i miss tat feeling… Lucu kali ya bisa ngerasa diam2 mencintai, terus deg2an kalo dia lagi deket ato ajak ngobrol.. Ato ga sengaja tangannya kesenggol tanganmu, aiiiihhhh……, megang bgt rasany! Hihi!

Dulu, inget bgt, zaman masi diem2 naksir dan gada yang tau soal perasaan qw. Tiap kali liat Arfadh rasanya seneeeenk bgt (sampe skrg juga gitu kok). Terus kalo bisa ngobrol berdua ma dia rasanya uda priviledge bgt hehe! I’ll ask anything to keep the conversation going on! Anything! Asal bisa ngobrol ma da lebi lama, bisa liat dia dari deket, bisa diam2 coba ngendus2 wangi dia dan curi2 liat senyum dia sambil usaha nahan degup di dada, biar ga kedengaran ma dia hehe!

Kalo cerita ma Arfadh soal zaman itu kita pasti ketawa2. He told me tat he never thought, even once kalo suatu saat nanti kita bisa jadian. Karena dr awal dia mank ga ada perasaan ma qw (tho dia ngaku diantara tmn2 qw dia paling concern ma qw, gombal kamuuh!), but see how thing works strangely… More strange is, he have his attention on my friend, not me. Aneh ya? Hehehe!

Tau ga (buat tmn2 yang ngerasa tepuk sebelah tangan dan ga mungkin bisa jadi),
sometimes thing works out better than u thought. Way better… Ga bilang harus keep in faith si, soalnya seingat qw, dulu qw juga ga keep in faith kok bs jadian ma Arfadh, krn menurut qw Arfadh itu cuma fantasy.. Bisa dimiliki dalam mimpi aja.. But I guess i was wrong.. =)

Mencintai tepuk sebelah tangan itu ga salah kok.. Cuma kadang kita harus tau, kapan kita harus move on.. Kalo ngerasa masi bisa cope up wit the situation, then stay still and enjoy this unique feeling of untold love.. Tapi kalo uda berasa, "ok, i’ve spend too much time on tis impossible thing.." then move on…

Tau ga,
i used to tell my friend yang lagi patah hati (and also myself, in my diary) waktu junio high, tat eventhough kita uda patah hati karena he simply not in to you, the journey isn’t over yet. Karena 100 kilometer dari tempat kamu "berpijak" sekarang, your true love is waiting for you, dengan bouquet mawar merah yang gedeee bgt.. Tungguin kamu buat move on.. Tungguin kamu buat taking a step to him..

You see?
Move on is a lovely thing.

Makanya kadang susah ya milihnya… Mau move on? Ato stay still dan ngerasain enaknya nyembunyiin perasaan. Deg2an kalo dia lewat depan kamu, ato deg2an waktu ga sengaja kesenggol dia. Both are a wonderful feeling!

Aku juga ingat gimana rasanya PDKT, hihihihi, lucu! The thing is, aku sama Arfadh gada menjalani PDKT2an. No. Nothing. It just happen. Aneh ya.. Hehe! Kata orang zaman PDKT sama zaman pacaran beda bgt care nya.. Tho ga jalanin PDKT, kita perna jlnin HTSan. To me, Arfadh careness is still the same with the 1st day kita HTSan. Maybe more. Mungkin malah way more.

Never say we never have an arguments, every couples do. But somehow we still manage to work it out. Lgan kalo pcran gada argument juga ga seru kali ya.. Keseringan juga ga seru. Balance kali ya… Tauk ah.. Jadi bingung..

BTW,
me and Arfadh have the greatest morning ever tis morning! Too special to share it wit u guys about the detail but it’s great and we are so happy hehe! Apakah itu? Mungkinkah kita membeli kura2 baru? Ato beli cushion baru (nah itu, mau beli cushion baru buat koleksi cushion ku, kali ini namanya  mo gogo bikin "Kitty Bum Bum". Lucu ga?), ato mungkinkah Arfadh menemukan pashmina putih yang sangat bergaya ato mungkinkah ARfadh kembali berkerja sebagai buruh? Hehe!

Dan juga, have told Arfadh want to write tis,
"Never argue with "Bos" junior cuz u will never win"
Hehehe! Maaf namanya harus disamarkan demi melindungi keselamatan diri saya dan rasa sopan santun terhadap nama orang tua oknum X.
Tat’s it, ciao!

UPDATED:

Friendster really have a problem with the blog! It hang oftenly especially when I want to change the colour pf my words. Thing they should  fix tis up. Hate when it happen too often. Phuff!!